Swiss Army Man by Pedro B. Maia
2016

瑞士军刀男

Swiss Army Man (Original Title)

在一个荒无人烟的小岛上,不善于和人沟通的汉克对人生早已绝望,于是他决定亲手了结自己的性命,就在关键时刻,一具尸体漂到沙滩上。该尸体臭屁连天,虽然苍白浮肿,却似乎有生命一般,汉克大喜过望,为这个不同寻常的朋友取名曼尼。

2016年7月1日

回到文明世界,还有70亿人活在这个星球上,他们就只是跑来跑去,眨眨眼睛,呼吸,进食,你曾经也是他们中的一个。
Back in civilization, there's 7 billion other living people on the planet just running around and blinking and breathing and eating, and you used to be one of them.

我回来了,世界。
Hello, world.

你真是这个恶心世界里最恶心的存在。
Ah, you're the grossest thing in this gross world.

你身上有一些特质,你就像一个多功能工具人。
You've got something in there. You're like the multipurpose tool guy.

有时候你做一件事次数太多它就不太灵了,就像,像是收益递减规律那样吧,人人都是这样,所以才会有这么多恋物癖。
Look, sometimes when you do something too many times, it has less of an effect. It's like the… the law of diminishing returns. It happens to everyone. That's why there are so many fetishes out there.

人生苦短,没有人应该孤独地坐在巴士上。
Because life is short, and no one deserves to ride the bus alone.

听上去不错,大家都屎在一起,因为总有一天你变的屎会和我变的屎相遇,我们还是有奔头的,你知道吗?
That sounds kind of nice, everyone's shit mixing, because then someday some of your shit is gonna meet up with some of my shit, and we'll have something to look forward to, you know?

嗯,真是太有意思了,你知道吗?我一直希望在我死之前,我的一生可以像放电影那样…在我眼前一闪而过,唤醒所有美好的时刻,派对不断,挚友相伴左右的一生,还有我学吉他的过程,或许还可以携手我的真命天女,但当我吊在那里真的要死的时候,我没有看见那么多东西… 只看见了你。
Heh. That was really funny. You know, I… I had always hoped that right before I die… my life would flash before my eyes and I would see wonderful things… A life full of parties and friends and… and how I'd learned to play the guitar, and… and maybe there'd even be a girl. But as I was hanging up there… I didn't really see much of anything. But I did see you.

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